The Wrong Way
As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on I- 90. Please be careful!"
"Shoot!" said Herman, "it's not just one...It's hundreds of them!
3 Sisters
Three sisters, ages 92, 94, and 96 live in a house together. One night the 96 year old draws a bath. She puts her foot in and pauses. She yells down the stairs, "was I getting in or out of the bath?"
The 94 year old yells back, "I don't know. I'll come up and see." She starts up the stairs and pauses. Then she yells, "was I going up the stairs or down?"
The 92 year old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea and listening to her sisters. She shakes her head and says, "I sure hope I never get that forgetful." She knocks on wood for good measure. She then yells, "I'll come up and help both of you as soon as I see who's at the door."
Silent Advice
An elderly couple were attending church when about halfway through the service she leaned over and said to him, "I just had a silent passing of gas. What should I do?"
Her husband leaned over to her and replied, "When we get home put a new battery in your hearing aid."
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By the time you find greener pastures . . .your too old to climb the fence.
Life is uncertain . . . eat dessert first
Over the hill . . . is better than under it
You are only young once . . .but you can stay immature indefinitely
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