Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Eleven Rules Of Life

Rule 1: Life is not fair -- get used to it!

Rule 2: The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.

Rule 3: You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.

Rule 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.

Rule 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping -- they called it opportunity.

Rule 6: If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.

Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you are. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.

Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time.

Rule 10: Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.

Bill Gates

Source: Internet

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

What If...

What if...God couldn't take the time to Bless us today because we could not take the time to thank Him yesterday...

What if...God decided to stop leading us tomorrow because we didn't follow Him today...

What if...God didn't walk with us today because we failed to recognize it as His day...

What if....we never saw another flower bloom because we grumbled when God sent the rain....

What if...God stopped loving and caring for us because we failed to love and care for others...

What if...God took away the Bible tomorrow, because we would not read it today...

What If...God took away his message because we failed to listen to His messenger...

What if...God didn't send His only begotten Son because He wanted us to be prepared to pay the price of sin...

What if...God would not hear us today because we would not listen to Him yesterday....

What if...God answered our prayers the way we answer His call to service

What if...God met our needs the way we give Him our lives...

Author Unknown

Source: Internet

More Thoughts

I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

Nothing hurts more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

Just tell me how are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

Was learning cursive writing really necessary?

You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

You know your old when your friend compliments you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot.

You know your old when a gorgeous babe catches your fancy and your pacemaker opens the garage door.

You know your old when you don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.

You know your old when you are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police.

You know your old when "Getting lucky" means you find your car in the parking lot.

You know your old when your secrets are now safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.

Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

Don’t worry about what people think, they don’t do it very often.

Men should never wear wigs

Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian anymore than standing in a garage makes you a car.

You need only two tools: WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn't, use the tape.

The five most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship are, "I apologize" and "you are right."

Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

If he/she says that you are too good for him/her - believe them.

Learn to pick your battles; Ask yourself, "Will this matter one year from now? How about one month? One week? One day?"

When you make a mistake, make amends immediately. It's easier to eat crow while it's still warm.

If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You have another chance!

Work is good, but it's not that important. Money is nice, but you can't take it, or anything else, with you. Statistics show most people don't live to spend all they saved; Some die even before they retire. Anything we have isn't really ours; we just borrow it while we're here... even our kids.

Be really good to your family and/or friends. You never know when you are going to need them to empty your bedpan.

If you are going to be able to look back on something and laugh about it,you may as well laugh about it now.

Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

A person who is nice to you but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.

Nobody thinks about you as much as you think about you

If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.

Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.

A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts feel so good.

Your family comes first, but not to the detriment of everything else

Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.

No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes.

A balanced diet is a muffin in each hand.

Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.

Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.

Junk is something you’ve kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.

Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.

Someone who thinks logically provides nice contrast to the real world.

It ain’t the jeans that make your butt look fat.

There is a very fine line between ‘hobby’ and ‘mental illness.’

You should not confuse your career with your life.

Never lick a steak knife.

The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.

You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.

The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that deep down inside we ALL believe we are good drivers.



Source: Internet Email

Words By George Carlin

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider Freeways , but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time.

We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often..

We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things..

We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do
everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill.

It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete...

Remember; spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever.

Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side.

Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent.

Remember, to say, ' I love you ' to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you.

Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again.

Give time to love, give time to speak! And give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

If you don't send this to at least 8 people.....Who cares?

~ George Carlin ~

Source: Internet Email

Words That Make you Stop And Think

Why does the sun lighten our hair, but darken our skin?

Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?

Why is a boxing ring square?

Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips?

Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?

Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Why is it that rain drops but snow falls?

Why is it that to stop Windows 95, you have to click on "Start"?

Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the third hand on the watch called a second hand?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

How come we drive on parkways and park on driveways?

How come sheep don't shrink when it rains but a wool sweater does when you wash it?

Source: Internet

Rules of Starting A Diet

Here's the first rule of thumb:

If it tastes good....spit it out.

And remember...If you must have a cheeseburger and fries always order a diet coke!

Inside me there's a thin person struggling to get out, but I can usually sedate her with four or five cupcakes.

You can eat as much as you want on a diet....of anything you don't like.

I don't exercise at all, if God had wanted me to touch my toes he would have put them up higher on my body.

The toughest part of a diet isn't watching what you eat, it's watching what other people eat.

mmmmm.....love chocolate chip cookies. I don't need to know how many calories are
in a chocolate chip cookie, I need to know how many calories are in a whole batch!

The advantage of exercising everyday is that you die healthier.

Did you ever see the customers in a health-food store? They are pale, skinny people who look half dead. In a steak house you see robust, ruddy people. They're dying of course but they look terrific.

Seriously now, count those fat grams and calories, take long walks, buy all that fat free stuff they have in grocery stores now-a-days...and while you guys get started doing all of that, I'm going out for a cheeseburger, fries, and of course a diet coke!

Author Unknown

Source: Internet

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

The Sign

A blind boy sat on the steps of a building with a hat by his feet. He held up a sign which said: "I am blind, please help." There were only a few coins in the hat.

A man was walking by. He took a few coins from his pocket and dropped them into the hat. He then took the sign, turned it around, and wrote some words. He put the sign back so that everyone who walked by would see the new words.

Soon the hat began to fill up. A lot more people were giving money to the blind boy. That afternoon the man who had changed the sign came to see how things were going. The boy recognized his footsteps and asked, "Were you the one who changed my sign this morning? What did you write?"

The man said, "I only wrote the truth. I said what you said but in a different way." I wrote: "Today is a beautiful day but I cannot see it."

Both signs told people that the boy was blind. But the first sign simply said the boy was blind. The second sign told people that they were so lucky that they were not blind. Should we be surprised that the second sign was more effective?

Moral of the story:

Be thankful for what you have.

Author Unknown

Source: Internet

The Pencil Maker

The Pencil Maker took the pencil aside, just before putting him into the box. There are 5 things you need to know, he told the pencil, before I send you out into the world. Always remember them and never forget, and you will become the best pencil you can be.

1. You will be able to do many things, but only if you allow yourself to be held in Someone's hand.

2. You will experience a painful sharpening from time to time, but you'll need it to become a better pencil.

3. You will be able to correct any mistakes you might make.

4. The most important part of you will always be what's inside.

5. On any surface you are used on, you must leave your mark. No matter what condition, you must continue to write.

The pencil understood and promised to remember, and went into the box with purpose in its heart.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Now replacing the place of the pencil with you; always remember them and never forget, and you'll become the best person you can be.

1. You will be able to do many great things, but only if you allow yourself to be held in God's hand. And allow other beings to access you for the many gifts you possess.

2. You will experience a painful sharpening from time to time, by going through various problems, but you'll need it to become a stronger person.

3. You will be able to correct any mistakes you might make.

4. The most important part of you will always be what's on the inside.

5. On every surface you walk through, you must leave your mark. No matter what the situation, you must continue to do your duties.

By understanding and remembering,let us proceed with our life on this earth
having a meaningful purpose in our heart.

Author Unknown

Source: Email

Bad Exercises

...jumping on the bandwagon

...wading through paperwork

...running around in circles

...pushing your luck

...spinning your wheels

...adding fuel to the fire

...beating your head against the wall

...climbing the walls

...beating your own drum

...dragging your heels

...jumping to conclusions

...grasping at straws

...fishing for compliments

...throwing your weight around

...passing the buck

Author Unknown

Monday, March 12, 2012

Thought Of The Day

"By being yourself, you put something wonderful in the world that was not there before." - Edwin Elliot

Source: Internet

It's All About Being Green

The Green Thing

Sure we didn't have the green thing, we had the "sensible" thing.

Checking out at the store, the young cashier suggested to the older woman that she should bring her own grocery bags because plastic bags weren't good for the environment.

The woman apologized and explained, "We didn't have this green thing back in my earlier days."

The clerk responded, "That's our problem today. Your generation did not care enough to save our environment for future generations."

She was right -- our generation didn't have the green thing in its day.

Back then, we returned milk bottles, soda bottles and beer bottles to the store. The store sent them back to the plant to be washed and sterilized and refilled, so it could use the same bottles over and over. So they really were recycled. But we didn't have the green thing back in our day.

We walked up stairs, because we didn't have an escalator in every store and office building. We walked to the grocery store and didn't climb into a 300-horsepower machine every time we had to go two blocks. But she was right. We didn't have the green thing in our day.

Back then, we washed the baby's diapers because we didn't have the throw-away kind. We dried clothes on a line, not in an energy gobbling machine burning up 220 volts -- wind and solar power really did dry our clothes back in our early days. Kids got hand-me-down clothes from their brothers or sisters, not always brand-new clothing. But that young lady is right. We didn't have the green thing back in our day.
Back then, we had one TV, or radio, in the house -- not a TV in every room. And the TV had a small screen the size of a handkerchief (remember them?), not a screen the size of the state of Montana. In the kitchen, we blended and stirred by hand because we didn't have electric machines to do everything for us. When we packaged a fragile item to send in the mail, we used wadded up old newspapers to cushion it, not Styrofoam or plastic bubble wrap. Back then, we didn't fire up an engine and burn gasoline just to cut the lawn. We used a push mower that ran on human power. We exercised by working so we didn't need to go to a health club to run on treadmills that operate on electricity. But she's right. We didn't have the green thing back then.

We drank from a fountain when we were thirsty instead of using a cup or a plastic bottle every time we had a drink of water. We refilled writing pens with ink instead of buying a new pen, and we replaced the razor blades in a razor instead of throwing away the whole razor just because the blade got dull. But we didn't have the green thing back then.
Back then, people took the streetcar or a bus, and kids rode their bikes to school or walked instead of turning their moms into a 24-hour taxi service. We had one electrical outlet in a room, not an entire bank of sockets to power a dozen appliances. And we didn't need a computerized gadget to receive a signal beamed from satellites 2,000 miles out in space in order to find the nearest pizza joint.

But isn't it sad the current generation laments how wasteful we old folks were just because we didn't have the green thing back then?

Please forward this on to another selfish old person who needs a lesson in conservation from a smart young person.

Remember: Don't make old people mad.

We Don't Like Being Old In The First Place, So It Doesn't Take Much To Tic Us Off.

Author Unknown

Source: Internet

Friday, March 9, 2012

The Little Things

Little stones make big mountains,
Little steps can cover miles,
Little acts of loving-kindness
Give the world it's biggest smiles...

Little words can soothe big troubles
Little hugs can dry big tears,
Little candles light the darkness,
Little memories last for years...

Little dreams can lead to greatness,
Little victories to success
It's the little things in life
That bring the greatest happiness...

When I think about all the little things,
warm thoughts of my friends come to mind
and all the joy that friendship brings,
always and forever sharing it with you.

(author unknown)

Source: Internet

Thursday, March 8, 2012

Living In 2012

YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2012 when...

1. You accidentally enter your PIN on the microwave.

2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.

3. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.

4. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.

5. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee.

6. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't even have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.

Source: Internet

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Senior Quotes

Gray hair is God's graffiti. ~ Bill Cosby

Old age is no place for sissies. ~ Bette Davis

Age is a question of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter. Satchel Paige

Just remember, once you're over the hill, you begin to pick up speed. ~ Charles Schulz

"Don't worry about senility," my grandfather used to say. "When it hits you, you won't know it." ~ Bill Cosby

Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been. ~ Mark Twain

Inside every seventy year old is a thirty five year old asking, "What happened?"
Ann Landers

The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. ~ Lucille Ball

My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty, and it was the law. ~ Jerry Seinfeld

It's no longer a question of staying healthy. It's a question of finding a sickness you like. ~ Jackie Mason

Put cotton in your ears and pebbles in your shoes. Pull on rubber gloves. Smear Vaseline over your glasses, and there you have it: instant old age. ~ Malcolm Cowley

Source: Internet