Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties.
Without love, what are we worth? Eighty-nine cents!
Eighty-nine cents worth of chemicals walking around lonely.
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
Love is the thing that enables a woman to sing while she mops up the floor after her husband has walked across it in his barn boots.
True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells,
get your ears checked.
Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.
I wanted to make it really special on Valentine's day, so I tied my boyfriend up.
And for three solid hours I watched whatever I wanted on TV.
And for three solid hours I watched whatever I wanted on TV.
The woman cries before the wedding and the man after.
Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.
When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.
Sales Ad at a Store: 'You are my one and only' valentine cards, now on sale: 4 for $5.
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